THOUGHTS FROM GIRLS AND BOYS TOWN Town’ The Original Father Flanagan’s Boys’ Home The Biggest Temptation of Working Moms Father Val J. Peter, JCD, STD (NAPSA)—Do not despair, working and single moms. Like most parents, you're doing a terrific job, but there is a little test your children are going to put you through (if they haven’t already), and I would like to help you passthetest. As your children begin to settle into the school year, they are probably getting into a pat- tern of “let’s make Mom feel guilty and take advantageofit.” Kids are very bright. Their antennaepick up these guilty feelVal J. Peter ings. Then, they try to take over the home. That’s right! Kids try to teach Mom to back off from disci- pline; and kids teach Mom to buy lots of things for them to help mom ease her guilt. Then when the kids start running the house, they use it to make Mom feel even guiltier. Don’t worry, Mom. There are some basic things you can do to take back your family and your home, especially if you are start- ing to lose control of the decisionmaking process and your children start to believe they are in charge. First, if your schedule is crazy, make your kids’ schedule crazy, too, in a good way. Make eating with your children a must. If you can’t eat dinner until 8 p.m., make sure that your kids are there to eat with you. It will be a little goofy at first, but after a while you'll all like it. Second, take time to meet your children’s coaches andinstructors. Making the extra effort to meet teachers and coaches means you will get good feedback from them about your kids’ behavior. This is also an important part of your support system. Third, establish a support sys- tem of extended family. Some- times you just have to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Usually, an uncle, aunt or a grandma or grandpawill be happyto help. Finally, make sure you have a fallback plan. Troubles beyond your control will happen on occasion. Perhaps there is bullying at school. Or perhaps you become sick. This is when you pull out your fallback plan. This is when you call Grandma and she’s will- ing to comeoverto help. Orthisis when you call your pastor or youth minister and they roar in like the Marine Corps to save the day. Remember, the alternative to your taking charge is that your kids will run your home. So take charge early; ask for help when you need it; and establish a support system. It will be a little difficult at first, but before you know it your children’s behaviors will be better, and you will feel better about it— with no guilt. Keep spending time with your children and keep smiling. Don’t forget to give yourselves a pat on the back once in a while. Thank you for doing such a great job! Girls and Boys Town, the original Father Flanagan’s Boys’ Home,is a leader in the direct treatment and care of abused, abandoned and neglected girls and boys. Through 19 sites across the country, the organizationdirectly cares for more than 37,000 girls and boys annually. Girls and Boys Townalsoassists 1.5 million children and parents throughits National Hotline (1-800-448-3000), outreach andtraining programs and community partnerships. @
