A Family Conversation About Long-Term Care (NAPSA)—Visiting with older parents can sometimes be an eye-opening experience, particu- larly if you notice signs that they may be having trouble caring for themselves. But how do you know whenit is time to step in? Experts say the earlier you evaluate the situation, the better the chance that with some support you can help your parents live as independently as possible. Involve Your Parents It is very important to involve your parents in the discussions and decision making about their options. It is best when families discuss their long-term care preferences in advance. In fact, longterm care planning should be a part of everyone’s retirement strategy. AARP board member Jennie Chin Hansen encourages people to take charge of their future, “Someone’s going to decide where you spend the rest of your life; make sure it’s you.” That is why planning ahead and talking with your family is so important. Here are some tips from AARP: When talking to your parents, share your emotions about your parents’ changing situation and encourage them to do the same. Avoid accusatory language. For example: “Mom and Dad, I worry about you living far away from relatives and friends,” NOT “You can’t expect to stay here by yourselves for much longer.” Raise The Issue Indirectly e If you're not comfortable with the direct approach, try raising the issue indirectly by relating to someoneelse’s experience or something you have read about or seen on the news. Then ask, “What Experts say the earlier you step in, the better the chance you can help your parents live as independently as possible. kind of help would you want if you were not able to do everything yourself?” e If your parents don’t want to discuss a situation that you feel is important, you might involve other family membersor a third party that your parents respect. Remember, this is not role reversal. Honor your parents’ right to make their own life choices, even if you don’t agree with them. For help assessing your parents’ needs and developing a plan to address, visit an aging network online. Some hospitals and clinics provide geriatric assess- ments by qualified health care and social work professionals. Unfortunately, people often underestimate the costs of longterm care support services and often think they are covered by Medicare, which is generally not the case. To learn more about long-term care options, visit http://www.aarp.org/families/care giving/.
